Attn. shoppers: go away


And give me my coffee shop back. Christmas is over. There is no need for you to be shopping on Ludlow on a Thursday afternoon; I don’t care if it’s two days after Xmas. There is nothing here but trendy indy shops—they have no post-Xmas markdowns. Go away and consume elsewhere. There are miles of suburban asphalt and prefab concrete that beckon you.

Oh, you’re here for the indy theater? That makes me resent you only slightly less. Get out.

Same goes to you out-of-towners here visiting. Get out of here and leave the coffee shop to the regulars—the various hipsters, hipster-wanna-bes and nerds like me who spend half the day in front of an LCD.